Our Family Brand and Why Having One Makes The Hard Stuff Easier

This is my dad at Grandparents’ day at Kearsney College before sitting down in the chapel, turning to my mom and asking her loudly ‘why are there so many old people’ here, which had the granny in front of them in hysterics. If it is not his mother on the side of the football field, it’s his 'Dudu' at a school event - my son, Nic, is building some serious character during his teenage years!

This family craziness coincides with my talk at the Highbury Preparatory School Business Networking Breakfast this Thursday which covers Business, Personal and Family Brand. Do you have a brand for your family - a set of values linked to non-negotiable behaviours?

There are three of us in my immediate family and each of us have spoken about our personal brands - what we stand for and how this drives our behaviour even when we don't feel like doing something. Motivation is fleeting whereas a strong commitment to what you believe in and who you are, is essential to make decisions and act accordingly. From here we developed our family brand. Discussing and finalising what is important to you as a family makes uncomfortable conversations easier to have, and difficult decisions easier to make.

Ours are:

• If you say you are going to do it, you do it: This was entrenched soon after Nic's dad died. He told me he was going to say goodbye to his football coach who was leaving forAustralia, and on the morning he said he wasn't up to going - we had already committed, so not showing up wasn't an option. It turned out to be a much bigger step in the right direction than I imagined. Often we let values slide because of heartache or trauma but that is the importance of having family values. It forces you to look past what is going on internally.
• If something is wrong you need to call it out: This became a non-negotiable during my daughter's Matric year when she explained to me that if someone says something cruel, degrading, racist, sexist, gender offensive... we need to speak out otherwise we are as guilty as them. The challenge comes in when you are in a corporate environment confronted by someone who is senior to you and responsible for your employment. It's easy to choose values which don't cause conflict or have repercussions but then... what is the point, if we aren't pushing ourselves out of our comfort zone to be better human beings? ‍
• If you see something awesome in another person, you must tell them: As a family we compliment at every opportunity. This sounds easier than it is. Often I see a stranger in the shop and think, my word she looks gorgeous. Now I have to tell her that! Talking from experience, 90% of the time, the response is far greater than you think. Never think people know they are beautiful, intelligent, talented, gifted, articulate, kind, funny... they need to be told.
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“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

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